Here’s the reality of it.
As mothers, we will at one point or another feel guilty about SOMETHING on an almost daily basis.
“Did I feed them well enough?”
“Did I spend enough time with them today?”
“Did they brush their teeth?”
“Did I tell them I loved them enough?”
“Could I have been more present?”
“Was that tongue lashing REALLY necessary?”
Here is my guilt.
As a mom who owns two businesses and blogs as well, I am ALWAYS on my phone or desktop. It is the nature of my business.
As a blogger, social media presence is essential to growth.
We recently got home from a week long vacation. I didn’t need to be behind a screen constantly. My family time was numero uno.
Once we came home, I was back to the grind.
My kids went from having the attention of multiple extended family members, to having to interrupt me for mine.
For that I feel horrible.
31 Weeks pregnant and constantly exhausted, I end EVERY day with the guilt I could have done things better, been a better mom.
I tried to set aside time the other night to spend with Ada one on one and read her a book. She sassed me and fought with me and didn’t want to be read to.
I tried to sing extra songs to Grey and rock him and he kept reaching for his crib because he just wanted to go to bed.
Then there was yesterday- I went to the grocery store for a produce run and saw GIANT rainbow balls. I thought to myself “How great would it be to all play with this HUGE ball out back while we grille dinner tonight?” The darn thing was $6 which to me is crazy for a ball that was made in China but I thought it would be a great time. As soon as I got to the truck where Jay was waiting with the kids the look on Grey’s face made me even more excited- he had never seen a ball so big and this this was bigger than him. He smiled so big in his car seat holding it with his chubby hands.
That only made me more excited for the quality family time that was bound to ensue.
I pictured laughs, the smell of charcoal from the grille and the feel of fresh cool grass between dirty toes. Sounds great right? What an awesome way to make up the day after having been behind the screen for so long?
Well y’all. Sometimes it isn’t you. Sometimes you can try to be the best mom in the world. Sometimes…Kids are just tiny a-holes.
Harsh, maybe…but you know you just nodded your head in agreement.
That ball caused SO much drama. I wanted to take a pair of scissors to that thing. We got home, unloaded groceries and headed out back. We lit the grille, prepped veggies and then all hell broke loose. Screaming, fighting, crying, pushing. Nearly rolling off of it into dog poop to try to lay on it to keep from sharing. I mean HOT MESS. We kept patient with “come on guys, we will all play, lets kick it”- didn’t work. “Lets throw it”- didn’t work. “Ada roll it to Grey so he can roll it back” and Grey takes hold and runs away with the ball.
Luckily, we had grilled Italian sausages for dinner. Meaning? We didn’t end up being outside for long. I tossed them into the tub, scrubbed their hair and we ate dinner.
Short post, I know. But I am sure there is a mom out there on this wonderful Friday who needs to know that although she tried her best to make something special happen, even if it falls apart its okay. We’ve all been there. We’ve seen kids throw tantrums at DISNEY WORLD for crying out loud. You’re a good mom, kids can just be a-holes.
Ps- Grey woke up today and took off his diaper and decided to paint his crib. Case and point.